The world we live in (sucks sometimes)

First off, Zoe is absolutely fine. Great actually. She just started three day a week preschool which she loves and is one busy little girl. I am going down early to pick her up and bring home Brittany, one of the school's goldfish (and her tank) that they no longer have room for. Zoe loves fish and wanted to adopt her (or at least she seems excited) so welcome to the family Brittany. We are all recovering relatively quickly from the cold we all had last week and Genevieve seems to be feeling a bit better after having a rough couple of weeks (knock on wood for those last two). So all is well.

This post is a copy of a letter I sent the CBC last Thursday. The CBC is Canada's national publically funded broadcaster and the show I refer to is a satirical news program (long past it's prime). It's not really a happy letter- not really a sad letter either. More resigned, I guess, and a reflection of the world we live in, and the perception society has of those that we all know deserve far better. It contains some terms I would never even think of using- not meant to offend but to illustrate my point. Here's the letter, anyway.
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Hey "This Hour has 22 minutes" people,

I am not a fan of your show, though once I was. It has probably jumped the shark tank some time ago, despite the introduction of some peppy new comedic talents. Still, you are not as terrible as "The Air Farce"; you are certainly no Rick Mercer Report, however. Sorry, but there it is. I do thank you for bringing a nice little piece of irreverence and satire to the Canadian/world scene, no matter how frequently miss your mark.

This letter is not intended as a critique of your comedy, however. Today I sat down to dine on some nice leftovers and switched on your show at 3:53 PM. As I enjoyed my re heated meatballs a segment came on- the show was a rerun and I have no idea what the segment was on or when it was from. Something about IQ scores at the CBC. Whatever. However, in the course of the 92 seconds I watched you used the term "borderline retarded" at which point I clicked away. We don't have cable, so five channels later I found myself back again to hear "it's like getting a gold medal high jump at the Special Olympics" at which point I turned off the TV, sighed (I had finished my microwaved meatballs by this point) and came through to write this letter. And here is why.

The term "borderline retarded" is, except in very specific medical senses (and even then it is insensitive and non specific) an unacceptable phrase. As are Special Olympic jokes, when the aim is to denigrate the accomplishments of somebody. People with developmental disabilities (like my daughter Zoe) have to put up with these insults, and this discrimination, and this denigration of their worth as human beings every single day. Casual references and jokes, like yours, really do stigmatize and hurt. My daughter, only two and half, does not yet feel this hurt , but I do, and her older friends with developmental or intellectual disabilities do, and my cousin who has Downs syndrome does, and thousands and thousands of other Canadians and people around the world every single day do. Imagine for a moment you are an adult with a developmental disability, and you come home from your job or your day program or whatever and you’re sitting on the couch with your mom or your roommates and you flip on "This Hour has 22 Minutes". You think, "oh good, they are funny" and then BAM! Mark is calling you and your friends retarded. And then BAM! you look up to see your Special Olympics medal you are so proud of just as Gavin is taking a big fat dump on it on national TV and calling it worthless. Nice guys. Really classy. And people laugh. And laugh. And laugh.

And you shut off the TV and then what do you think?

And by the way, have you ever seen some of those Special Olympics athletes? They can kick my ass at High Jump or Shot Put, or just about anything athletic. Yours too, I'd be willing to bet.

So will I boycott your show? No, I don't really watch it anyway. Will I organize a letter writing campaign? No, though I will encourage my friends and family who I included on this e-mail to write to say "Yo, guys. Way to go. Thanks for picking on the weakest and most discriminated against group in our society, and contributing to their continued degradation by doing it so during prime TV watching hours, and showing it continually on re-runs, so people can see it again and again and again". I am far too busy for letter writing campaigns- organizing my daughters medical appointments, looking for ways to maximize her quality of life, doing her physiotherapy, taking her and her walker and her stander and her special needs stroller everywhere, fighting discrimination and fostering inclusion so maybe, maybe one day she won't have to put up with this shit . . . you get the idea.

If there is an air of weariness to this letter, it is because I have to fight this fight, for my daughter, every single day- I hear it on the subway, on TV, at work (and I work at Sick Kids, the largest Children's hospital in the nation). And do I ever expect to see "retard" go the same way as "nigger" or "pakky" or "kike" or “faggot” as it should? (I use those terms to demonstrate that retard is a word of the same ilk- filled with denigration, judgement, prejudice, discrimination and hate) No, not really, because shows like yours use it so casually so often it becomes a part of our language, so disconnected from any meaning but still spreading hate and pain to those that, really, deserve far better. What do I expect the outcome to be from this letter? Realistically, maybe a polite letter from a junior assistant on CBC comedy staff saying "we appreciate your comments, and keep watching the CBC". What would I like? Maybe for the writers of your show and the stars to see it, and think about it, and what consequences their words had, and maybe they shouldn't have been, well, the insensitive assholes that they were.

Shame on you guys, really. Put yourself in the shoes of my daughter - well, maybe not literally her shoe's, she has tiny feet- but metaphorically. Her shoes and the shoes of the women you see at the mall or the guy on the subway or the cute Downs Syndrome kids you see in the Special Olympics poster or somebody's cousin or sister or granddaughter. And you'll realize it's not funny. It just hurts.

Thanks for your time. Zoe sends her love. No, this is a lie- she has no idea who you are. And yet you took the time to insult her? In truth the only TV show Zoe watches is "Hockey Night in Canada" and that's because sometimes Daddy watches it with her for a couple of minutes before she goes to bed. Like my mom and dad did with me. Go Leafs.

Best to you and yours

Gavin Ross
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It's been a week now, and so far- no response.