Another New Person?

Holding on to People in Our Lives

One thing that has become difficult for all of us is getting used to a new person in the house.  We have been very lucky with our respite workers.  They tend to stay with us for a long time.  Riann has moved on to a full time job but is still very involved in the girls' lives (they are being flower girls in her wedding next month!)  We tease our friend Lyn that she got cancer just to get away from us but it didn't work!  Zoe informs me that she wants to have her birthday party at Lyn's this year.  Lyn has a party room in her apartment building that we had a small party in before.  I said, "We will have to talk to Lyn about that" to which Zoe said, "No."  Then I asked, "Is Lyn invited to the party?" "Yes."  "So you want Lyn there but you just want to show up one day and say surprise we are having a party at your place today?"  "Yes."  I guess that is what I get for asking Zoe what she wants!  Our main concern with having the party at Lyn's is that we know she will do too much.  And sure enough when I told Lyn this story she said, "Sure you can have the party here, just let me know which day.  I've got chemo on February 12th but other than that I am free."  Ah Lyn, we love you but stop doing so much for our children!  They say jump and most of the people in our life say "How high?"

Our current respite worker, Alison is amazing.  She started out saying she could commit to one year and now, three years later Zoe insists on calling her parents Grandma Jean and Grandpa Ken.  They have taken Zoe to hippo therapy and had her over at their house many times.  So Alison is not leaving us any time soon either.  Alison and Riann (and Daine- Riann's partner) were with us the day Ailsa was born.  They have seen me in labour, they took care of Zoe, they brought yummy post-partem soup.  They are family now.

Zoe tends to hold on to people.  Once you start, you just can't stop.

A Different Trend with Nurses

We have been lucky with some of the nurses that have come into our lives.  The relationship tends to be more professional but eventually that professionalism breaks down.  How can you remain separate when Ailsa is hanging off your back and Zoe gives you that smile?  Viki and Michelle have become a big part of our lives.  Viki was so amazing- she came at 630am to get Zoe off to school so I could get more rest while Gavin was recovering.  I don't think we would have made it through that time period without her.  Viki is currently on a leave of absence and I think she may not be coming back.  We hope she stays a part of our lives.  The girls love her.

Michelle is our other nurse.  She has become like family.  She has been here during birthday celebrations and it does not feel intrusive at all- she just blends in.  She is an amazing nurse and very caring.  But we know that young, amazing, great nurses do not stay in home care for long.  They are paid less and get less support in home care.  And so the good ones tend to move on.  For now Michelle is here, but we know that is not permanent.  So we are training a new nurse.

Training a New Nurse

The new nurse is very nice but it is difficult to open our home and our hearts to yet another person.  When Ailsa arrived home from preschool yesterday and saw a new person in our home she started crying and said, "I don't want a new friend."  And I knew exactly how she felt.  It is hard to go through the process again and again.  It is hard to hear Zoe upset because the new person doesn't get her yet.  It is hard to watch as the new person struggles with communicating and reading Zoe.  We usually can tell pretty quickly if a nurse will be a good fit for us.  This new nurse seems like a good fit.  And she is eager to learn.  But as we climbed into bed last night Gavin said, "She's good, she's young, she is eager to learn which is great except how long do you think she will stay?"