You Have to Just Laugh

Ailsa and I spent most of Boxing Day (for the non-Canadians that is the day after Christmass) in the emergency room because despite being on antibiotics for 5 days for a double ear infection, she was still spiking fevers close to 40C (for the non-Canadians, that is really high).  We could not find a good walk in clinic open on the holiday so off we go.  It was an insane day in emerg and in the end it was what we suspected- some sort of viral illness that has to run its course.  The doctor was concerned enough that he did a chest X-ray but thankfully, no pneumonia.

Fast forward three days and guess who starts getting sick.  Actually I was also sick and lost my voice but hey, who cares about me right?  Let's face it, for the three people who actually follow this blog, you do it to see cute pictures of the kids!

Fast forward six days and we end up in the emergency room with Zoe.  Turns out she has RSV as well as another bladder infection.  So this is where the laughing part comes in: a few of the emerg staff are the same people who worked Boxing Day, and the ones who had said, "I am so glad it is not Zoe who is sick" now said, "Damn."  And while the emerg was crazy on Boxing Day and we waited 7 1/2 hours to see a doctor, Zoe is seen within minutes.

Ailsa gets so concerned about Zoe that she becomes rigid in her routines, cries if I am out of her site and clings to me (even while I am on the toilet).  My heart breaks.  We saw a doctor for Ailsa just to confirm we are doing all we can to support her.  And yes, we are.  In fact, the doctor is very impressed with Ailsa. No surprise there, we already knew she is amazing.

And so, the laughter has to kick in.  When Gavin and I notice some swelling in Zoe's face indicating third spacing and her oxygen levels dip, we say, "oh well, if Zoe gets really sick and goes to the ICU at least we can use the nice family room and get free breakfast.  And as Ailsa cries, "mommy, where are you going" as I travel the five steps it takes to go to the bathroom in Zoe's room and proceeds to follow me in and hang from my neck, I find myself getting irritated.  (Which is an easier emotion than feeling incredibly sad).

And so, I chose laughter.  Because there is nothing else I can control right now.  So if you see a crazy woman in PJs wondering the hospital halls, hoping to get a cup of coffee before her daughter launches herself out of bed, laughing to herself- have no fear, it is just me.  Living in the moment.  Cherishing a hot cup of coffee.  Now if only I could get to drink it while it is still hot...now that's the tits.

"Everything can be taken from a man except one thing- the last of human freedoms: the ability to chose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."  Viktor Frankl