Morning Commute/Conversations with My Zoe

It is amazing how much Zoe is able to communicate with only a few signs. At this point, she only uses about 20 signs consistently. She will mimic other signs if we show them to her, but she only usually uses her familiar 20 spontaneously without us signing first.

Some commutes can be challenging. Physically- carrying Zoe, plus backpack, plus pushing/carrying walker on and off of subway trains can be wearing on my back. Emotionally- listening to people's ignorant comments used to really upset me but now I just ignore them. They think I am being rude when I don't respond but honestly how do I respond politely to comments like "You should wrap his head in a towel so his neck doesn't get damaged" (yesterday's gem of wisdom from random woman on the train- what?! how do I respond to that one!). I try to stick to "if I don't have anything nice to say, better keep my mouth shut!" I want to teach Zoe how to deal with unwanted/ignorant advice since as a person with disabilities she will be getting plenty of that in her lifetime. So I try to remain composed and ignore people. Most of the time I succeed. And some commutes are made much easier by my driving Zoe to school. School is downtown, a five minute walk from the hospital both Gavin and I work at. We tried to find care closer to home so we wouldn't have to commute with Zoe but finding care like she is currently getting was impossible. They are amazing at her school- but I won't go on about that now.

This morning's commute (on subway because Gavin needs the car for grocery shopping and it was physically "easy" since I only had Zoe and one heavy backpack) was really nice. Some commutes, like today, I really enjoy sitting with Zoe and getting a chance to talk with her. After gulping down an entire cup of milk (a big accomplishment if you know Zoe and the fact that she will drink 1-6 ounces on an average day) Zoe was chatting away.

First, she needed me to know that she was all done snuggling with me.

"Mommy" "All Done"

Yes, Zoe I can see you want to be all done sitting on mommy but we are on the train so we have to stay here until we get to our station.

"Mommy" "Zoe wants" "All Done"

Yup kiddo, got your message the first time. But we are on the train and can't get off yet.

"Mommy" "Zoe wants" "All Done" pause "Walk"

Zoe, we don't have your walker on the train so you can't walk right now. Would you like to sit on your own?

"Mommy" "All Done"

This is a good example of how Zoe only signs a few words but can mean different things depending on the situation, her gestures, and her facial expression. As she signs "mommy" and "all done" this time she has a big smile on her face and his arching her back so she can slide off my lap meaning "Yes, I want to see on my own. I am all done sitting on mommy."

We then proceeded to have our usual conversation since Zoe was now sitting next to a sleeping boy:

"Mommy" "Boy" "Sleeping"

Yes Zoe, that boy is sleeping.

"Boy" "Kiss"

No Zoe, we don't kiss strangers on the train.

"Mommy" "Boy" "Sleeping" pause....big smile "Kiss"

Should I be worried- is she implying that it would be ok to kiss this random guy since he is sleeping and may not notice! Instead she reaches out and gently strokes his arm. She looks back at me with a look of triumph and with no signs I can tell she is thinking "Haha, I touched him and you didn't stop me!"

On the second train we stand since we only go a few stops. Zoe begins flinging herself backward while signing "walk."

Yes, I get it, you want to walk and not be stuck on mommy. Your walker is at school, you can walk when we get there.

And as soon as we enter the classroom Zoe has a big grin and is signing walk. I pause to say good morning to Alison (her teacher) and Zoe frantically signs "walk" while swinging her legs back and forth. Ok, kid I get it already!

And of course there was the usual heart felt goodbye flung in my direction as an afterthought as she races through the classroom door:

"Mommy" "All done"

Love you too sweetie. Now wipe those tears from your eyes. I know how hard it is for you to be at school and away from mommy.

She was too busy running after her classmates to appreciate my sarcastic comments but at least I usually get a chuckle from the teachers.