Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Getting Ready for Surgery

Everything Set for Tomorrow

Zoe has been a little congested this past week but her lungs are clear so we are good to go with surgery tomorrow.  As the time approaches, Zoe is starting to get a little nervous.  She has had some great questions about what it will be like.  She is worried about the recovery period and having pain.  And in her little seven year old logic, Zoe is trying to bargain her way out of it by saying things like, "I'll just stay home all the time and eat to gain weight instead of getting the tube."  Zoe acknowledges that she knows this is necessary, she just doesn't like it.  I reassure her that I am feeling exactly the same!

Making Choices for Your Child

Every day parents of children with special needs make choices that no parent should have to make.  No one has ever asked me if I want Ailsa to eat with her mouth, use her legs to walk or if we want to implant medical devices in to her.  Many times these choices are not really choices in the sense of if we don't do this for Zoe, she can not survive.  But at the time of getting these things done it often feels like a choice and as a mom I get wrapped up in making sure we are doing the best.  Ok, not just wrapped up, I get a bit obsessive!  I know that all we can do as parents is make the best decision at the time with the information we have.  I know that.  But then I get overwhelmed with the feeling that choices we have made for Zoe have made such an incredible difference in her quality of life.  So these moments become a bit daunting.  I know that every parent is overwhelmed at times with making decisions for their children but I guess one difference with complex children like Zoe is that the choices we make for her could have serious consequences.

How to Handle Those Moments of Overwhelming Fear About Your Child

I have found some great ways to pull back from that fear and live in the moment.  Spending fun time as a family is a great way to just live in the moment and remember the important things.  We went to the Art Gallery of Ontario last weekend and had a great time.  The kids did amazing- we were there for 5 1/2 hours!  We found some great sculptures in the contemporary section that the kids could walk around and one of them you could actually go inside it.  Zoe walked all over the place in her walker.  I have to say, I was impressed at the staff being so respectful when this little, wild haired child was flying about in her walker.  Zoe loved an instalment in the sculpture room that played all sorts of sounds and had flashing lights.  She just stood there in her walker laughing and listening.

We made a stop at the gift shop on the way out and Ailsa said, "I want to get some paints because I really need to paint something now."  How could I say no to that!  Both girls made interesting paintings that night using brushes as well as their hands and feet.  It was great to see them inspired by great works of art.

If All Else Fails...

...go shopping!  Years ago we put away the infant onesies that made Zoe look younger than she was.  At the time, she was 2 or 3 and still fitting in to the 18 months size.  After surgery it will be important for Zoe not to pull on her tube or bandages.  Zoe is a very handsy little girl so this is difficult for her.  So we thought having some onesies that keep her hands away would be a good idea.  Zoe does not fit the 18 months size but we guessed she might fit the 24 month size (yes, she really is that tiny still!)  So I ran around on Monday looking at different stores trying to see who has the largest onesies.

What I found out- Carters makes the biggest 24 month onesie.  And they had a sale on all the short sleeve ones.  So the timing worked out perfect.  I tried the thrift store too but they did not have any onesies in the large size.  They did however have some super cute clothes for back to school!  How can I resist when things only cost $2?

I used to have this superstition (and maybe part of me still believes it) that if I buy things for Zoe she has not used yet she has to be around to use them.  Depressing thought, I know.

How Can I Say No?

Speaking of Family Time- Ailsa said this morning, "Can I stay home from PreSchool today to spend time with Zoe, I will miss her when she has her surgery tomorrow."  Ok, I realise that Ailsa uses any excuse to stay home, but really how could I say no?

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